Any Retard Can Be a Super-Brain

Ok - I’m amazed. I’m amazed that the media, the locals, university researchers and mega-intellects are stunned at the “disappearance” of BP’s oil in the Gulf of Mexico. I am even more amazed at their shock at finding the missing oil below the water’s surface. The big story this week is the discovery of untold volumes of oil drifting beneath the surface of the Gulf.

“Wait a minute,” I hear you gasp. “Oil beneath the water? Drifting along? Not on the surface?” You apparently are not alone in your astonishment. Super-mega-brainiac Christopher Reddy was equally shocked at the revelation as described in this article from NPR. “Doesn’t oil float?” he asks, echoing your incredulousness as well as that of countless other people with functioning brains.

Well, as we all know, oil does indeed float. So why is this oil not floating on the surface? What mysterious physics have turned our safe, grammar-school imagery of “lighter than water” oil on it’s metaphorical ear?

Now here is the source of MY shock: Virtually since day one of the oil spill, it has been no secret that BP has been dousing the oil with Corexit, an oil “dispersant.” We have seen numerous images of planes flying over the oil spill with tons of Corexit being dispersed upon the oil. Millions of people viewed the live camera focused on the source of the oil disaster, the spewing wellhead of the broken rig. In the foreground of every frame was the nozzle one of BP’s submersibles, spraying an unbroken stream of Corexit directly into the escaping petroleum. Panic along the gulf coast has ensued in recent weeks over the possible toxicity of the millions of gallons of Corexit that accompanies the oil.

Why am I shocked? Along with the common knowledge of the deployment of Corexit since day one, the purpose of Corexit was also announced. Corexit is a “dispersant.” It is specifically designed to make oil sink. I does not make oil disappear; it does not consume oil, it does not neutralize oil in any way. It only makes oil heavier. Any retard with a web browser can research this. Even Corexit’s manufacturer, Nalco, says exactly this. Corexit makes the oil sink below the surface of the water. Granted, it also says that the oil “biodegrades” after sinking. Also true, bacteria and other microbes MAY decide that the oil is tasty enough to feast on, thereby biodegrading it. But the Corexit itself does nothing to promote biodegrading. It merely makes the oil sink out of sight.

Brainiacs, mega-intellects, university professors, media people - WHAT PART OF THAT DID YOU MISS? The oil went nowhere, other than a few thousand feet below the surface. Why are you all shocked that the oil is floating around in the gulf beneath the surface? I can say one thing for BP, they did not lie about spraying Corexit everywhere. Since the first knowledge that the oil spill was developing, they told us, even sent us videos of Corexit fumigating the gulf. The Corexit did exactly what it was supposed to do - make the oil sink, thereby keeping it out of sight and hopefully out of mind, protecting BP’s rainbow-and-unicorns reputation.

I’m shocked and dismayed that so many fell prey to this sleight-of-hand, this tragic subterfuge that BP tried to con us with. It is as if a shell-game street con-artist told us “I’m going to hide the ball up my sleeve,” and you were still dumb enough to guess that the ball was under one of the shells! Now as those millions of barrels of oil make their way throughout one of the most vital ecosystems of the western hemisphere, it makes me wonder how many other cons slip our notice, as well as the tragic consequences in which they will result.