Monday, March 14, 2005

Outsourcing Drive-throughs

Does anybody else see the problem with this? As if fast food isn't dehumanizing enough, now McDonald's wants us to talk to somebody in North Dakota to place our order for the drive-up window sitting 20 feet from our car! How long will it be before we're talking to Hyderabad, India to order our Happy Meals?
Generally if I simply must have fast food, I find it easier to order exactly what I don't want, then when they screw up the order, which the minions inevitable will, chances are greater that I get what I secretly desired.
If I'm talking to some outsourced thrall in Bumfuck, Egypt to get my food, and the window fool gives me 83 cheeseburgers, extra pickles, then to whom am I going to bitch? The Bumfucktard? No he's a million miles away, plus I'd have to circle back around to the static-y screech box. The window troll? No, the computer screen clearly says 83 cheeseburgers, extra pickles. God forbid he has an original thought. The manager? He's in the "office" masturbating to internet porn, or popping zits, or both.
If you absolutely, truly have no recourse but to resort to fast food, at least maintain what shreds of humanity are left in our society and park your car, get out and walk inside to order like a human should. Please.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Is It Art? Or Just Stupid?

Apparently someone in Alaska decided to capitalize on something that happens every time you leave your garden hose on when it freezes. John Reese describes himself as a "free-form industrial ice sculptor" because he leaves sprinklers running in the cold.
And to think, thousands have been doing this for free! Yet in the transcript from NPR he says he is the "only person on the planet" who does stuff like this. Tell that to my camellia bush that got decimated because I forgot the sprinker was on during on overnight freeze!
Does it seem to you that people do idiotic things just so they can say they're "the only person on the planet that does this"? I got news for ya buddy; not only are not the only person on the planet that can make outdoor popsicles, but neither do you have the worldwide market cornered on stupidity!

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Suspicions Confirmed!

Surely you've experience the frustration that comes from calling "customer support" for anything. Likely you've hung up the phone exasperated over the useless time you spent dealing with "service" representatives. "That has got to be one of the stupidest people I've ever dealt with!" you thought to yourself.
Now CNN confirms this suspicion. They need software to tell them when the customer is upset. Excuse me, but I've always been able to rely on conversational skills to tell me the mood of the other person, even when I'm talking on the phone. Are these people so shut in that they don't experience conversation with people outside of taking service calls? They need a computer screen to tell them that the person on the phone shouting, crying, swearing at them is upset?
I've always suspected that a leaden intellect is a prerequisite to have a customer service job. Now I know it's true.