Saturday, May 15, 2004

Why ever would the US leave Iraq?

Pretty wild that the U.S. would vacate Iraq if they thought America was unwelcome. What would ever give them that idea? If there's one thing that has characterized the war in Iraq it is the warm and loving welcome that US troops and personnel have recieved by all the Iraqi citizens.

What exactly does Mr. Bremer require to get the hint that US troops are not welcome? Obviously daily attacks on troops and contractors, televised beheadings of Americans and "U.S. get the fuck out" signs don't convey the message clearly enough. It reminds me of the Far Side comic where the couple has to feign death to get their guests to finally leave. There's an idea! Hey all you Iraqis reading this - pick a day and time and everyone just play dead. Believe me, all the invaders, er, sorry, "liberators" will get out quick 'cuz they won't want to have to clean up behind several million corpses!

It's worth a shot!

Monday, May 10, 2004

I'm not at all creeped out by death or anything, but I do think it's a little wierd to have to store your loved ones till the ground is thawed out enough to bury 'em. I mean, you get all used to the idea of Gramps being dead, only to have to haul him out from the U-Stor-It Death-O-Rama (2nd corpse half-price!) and go through the funeral and actual burial.

Why not have the funeral and all and just pay someone under the table to bury Gramps in the spring, real quiet like? That way there's not the pulled-off scab effect of dealing with it all over again.

Of course, I'm all about cremation! It solves so many problems! You never have to worry about finding a drawer at the morgue for your beloved, they can't exhume the body to see if you killed 'em, and you don't have to re-funeralize them months later if you live in Alaska. As an added benefit, you can cremate 'em right there in the graveyard and the funeral pyre can defrost the ground for the next stiff's burial! And sing campfire songs! 2 birds with 1 stone!